Super Friends: (The Legendary Super Powers Show/Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians)

Season 6: 1981-82

5(C) Colossus: Apache Chief grows to the size of Colossus to fight in space. His huge feet should have destroyed a good portion of the Earth before he managed to float in space.

Season 7 (the lost season): 1983

2(B) Two Gleeks are Deadlier Than One: Jayna and Zan put in charge of security during the night? That should have been a dead giveaway to villains that the Justice League wasn't serious about security because they weren't really meeting but android doubles instead.

3(B) Invasion of the Space Dolls: And I thought it was bad if my phone or computer ran out of juice.

Super Friends: The Legendary Super Powers Show Season 8: 1984-1985

1(A)&(B) The Bride of Darkseid: Man, Darkseid's got a serious hard-on for Wonder Woman.

2(A) The Wrath of Brainiac: So much so that he'd follow an android Wonder Woman right into Brainiac's star-ship.



2(B) Reflections in Crime: The 6th dimension: the dimension behind mirrors. Finally, a dimension nearly as bad the 5th dimension that spawned Mr. Mxyzptlk. Firestorm staring into mirror: Man, this workout is really starting to make a difference, I look just like Superman!

3(A) No Honor Among Thieves: A ticked-off Darkseid stealing your newly stolen powers and landing you in prison stripes... that's what Lex Luthor gets for disrupting Darkseid's quiet time on Apokolips. Maybe Darkseid was daydreaming about Wonder Woman?

5(A)&(B) Darkseid’s Golden Trap: Gold kryptonite can permanently strip away all of the powers that Superman enjoys on Earth? How would anyone know? There's only the one Superman to test it on and obviously, no one has.

8(A) The Village of Lost Souls: As an ice block, Zan traps Wonder Woman. A heck of a way to feel her up.

The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians Season 9: 1985-1986

3 The Darkseid Deception: Darkseid rearranged his molecular structure in order to impersonate Steve Trevor for Wonder Woman? Creepy obsessed.



8 The Death of Superman: If Superman is still alive, why has he allowed the other Team members to fall into Darkseid's clutches? Seriously, he's nearly dead and greener than Green Lantern's ring, the question is how could he stop it? Give him a minute, people. Or, you know, save yourselves.

Who Wants to be a Princess?

Sure, they're privileged, eat the finest foods, wear the chicest gowns, can order the best entertainments, and have servants attend to their every need. They get to marry princes, become queens and occupy prime real estate. Not bad, if you like that sort of thing.



Not me. Those gowns are usually huge, probably heavy, and can't be easy to move in. The dances are lame, and see above about dresses. The decorum and expectations are suffocating. They have servants and subjects and yes men, but likely no real friends.



The princes? Very limited dating pool. In real life, not particularly handsome overall. And some of the time, an arranged marriage. Most don't even get to become king -- that would be their, usually, oldest brother -- so no queenship for you. And don't get me started on the internarrying in such a small pool of acceptable royal matches. Even if you do get to be queen, you'll usually come second to the King. See Mary, queen of Scots to King Francis in Reign.



The castles? Drafty with all the open holes for windows. Dark and dank with secret passageways where assasins may hide. Servants lurking everywhere who will see and overhear everything.

You get to be the helpless target kidnapped for ransom. A pawn for political intrigue. The damsel in distress in a restrictive dress. Unless...



You're the exception. Elsa with magical powers in Frozen. Merida disobeying parents to teach herself useful skills in Brave. Belle of Beauty and the Beast didn't sit idle but filled herself with knowledge which is, after all, power. Fairy princesses with inherent magic. Amazon queens like Gabrielle of Xena: Warrior Princess where they have no men anyway.



Xena herself, a warrior princess. This woman has killed demons and monsters and gods. No one can tell her what to do, how to behave, who to marry. If anything, I'd prefer to be a warrior princess. But then there'd be plenty of people wanting to kill you... so maybe not.

(World's Greatest) Super Friends Seasons 4 & 5

The World's Greatest Super Friends Season 4: 1979-1980

1 Rub Three Times for Disaster: If that title weren't enough... Superman would save everyone a lot of trouble by superspeed snatching stuff away from bad guys first and confronting them later. The bad guy worked so hard to get the lamp, why leave it behind in the end?



2 Lex Luthor Strikes Back: How many times can Lex Luthor, SUPerGENius, do something dumb to screw up the world, requiring the Super Friends to once again save it? Why does it take an hour for the molten metal to pour over Wonder Woman and Aquaman? Why is Aquaman holding his tits? Sun creatures that can melt fireproof material should laugh at water.

5 Universe of Evil: Nitrogen + heat vision + water = Kryptonic acid. Well, geez, if that's all it takes... Duh, always bring Kryptonite to fight an evil Superman. Would a really powerful villian try to talk you into something when they can force you?

6 Terror at 20,000 Fathoms: Nimoy needed three missiles for his plan but used one just for a demonstration to the United Nations. Did he decide he didn't want Africa, South America, or Antarctica? What's the point of a museum for one? Ejecting Robin, LOL!

7 The Super Friends Meet Frankenstein: The monster had done nothing but stand when his creator called him more powerful than imagined. Maybe his previous creations were too weak to do anything but lie there? Needing Robin to save the most powerful Super Friends? They're doomed! Getting the lousy remnants of their power to fight the superpowered monster who has the majority of their power? Robin's doomed!

8 The Planet of Oz: Aquaman to jellyfish: "Coat me in goo!" Jellyfish to Aquaman: "I don't know what kind of kink you're into, but OK." Wonder Woman lost her powers. Superman said he lost his too but managed to use them three separate times. Sigh, even Oz and powers manage to be chauvinistic.

Super Friends Season 5: 1980-81

1(A) Bigfoot: Seriously, ask for help instead of terrorizing the locals!

3(B) Rock and Roll Space Bandits: Cheesy wannabe 80's rock, about as far from hypnotic music as I've ever heard.

3(C) Elevator to Nowhere: Wow, dude, seriously. Just ask them to test out the time machine instead of tricking them into it. They like to help advance science. And they tested that other guy's time ma-. Ohhh, is that why you didn't want to ask? Or you could just buy a working time machine off one of the countless others who built machines that work.

4(C) The Incredible Crude Oil Monster: Aquaman using a net to contain oil? No one ever called him a mental giant. It's just all about his vaunted aquatic telepathy.

Chinese Movies & TV: Wailing Unfit For a Baby

Talk. About. Overacting. William Shatner has nothing on these people. With all the rapid-fire yapping, they could at least inject sincerity into one out of every 100 lines or so.

Seriously, the crying's horrendous -- loud, hideous, grating, endless -- enough to embarass a newborn baby. Oh, as for the screaming ninnies, horror movie scream queens have nothing on them. By the way, plenty of this crying and screaming comes from Grown Men. Man up, dudes!

They've got music ripped from westerns and one movie even ripped melodies straight from Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Is that something lame happening to the tune of epic music? Oh, the sacrilege!



Montages of romantic fighting scenes: Yes, really. And no, not hot and heavy sweaty-bodies-pressed-together stuff. Slow motion fully-clothed, flying through the air to clash swords in a field of flowers stuff. And sometimes flying past each other.

Beyond disturbing: Man leaping around articulated like a frog. Spark from fireworks hits old man in the eye for an instant kill. Man wailing like a baby for half the movie (and a good half the movie's dialogue; it was a lady's name).

RIdiculously Yummy: TAZO® Chai

Tazo makes some of the most delicious teas on Earth. Their chais are equally yummy. TAZO® brings together the best ingredients from across the globe to honor this ancient tradition. Sweet cinnamon and creamy vanilla meet spicy black pepper, fragrant cardamom and bold star anise in this unforgettable beverage.

Now you can Save up to $2 off! http://h5.sml360.com/-/1nzxr

The lovely folks at Tazo let me try these for free. Each flavor is warm soothing yumminess:
chai chocolate
chai vanilla caramel
chai pumpkin spice
chai classic

All-New Super Friends Hour/Challenge of the Super Friends

The All-New Super Friends Hour (1977) Season 2

They got tired of all the extra padding to make hour-long episodes. Yay! They made tiny segments with super cheesy code words and stuff. Boo!



In a safety segment, Wonder Woman lands her invisible plane mid-city to congratulate a kid for using the crosswalk.

5(C) Super Friends vs. Super Friends: Aquaman disappears mid-incoming message but reappears instantly after. Snuck off for a quick break?

Challenge of the Super Friends 1978-1979 Season 3

4(A) The Time Trap: In 70,000,000 B.C., the stuff in South Africa's diamond mines probably weren't even diamonds yet.

7(B) The Beasts Are Coming: Radiation changed Wonder Woman into a rampaging monster outside a military base near the desert. So basically she Hulked out near a base that looks a lot like General Thunderbolt Ross'.

8(A) Secret Origins of the Super Friends: Flash running back and forth through time? OK. Batman and Robin plus Black Vulcan having unexplained methods of time travel? Convenient. Hal Jordan just deciding to call himself Green Lantern? Ermmm... the Guardias on Oa must have had The green ring changing Luthor? Do the rings work for the unchosen?

8(B) Terror from the Phantom Zone: Ew, Jayna licked Zan to deactivate! Er, line the Supermobile with lead already. What's the point of Superman having a vehicle that does less than he can do by himself? It should at least protect him.

9(B) The Anti-Matter Monster: It sucks in oil with its crotch! Someone needs to teach the Wonder Twins about timing. It takes less time to dive out of the way than to use their Exxor powers to change.



13(B) Batman Dead or Alive: The water rose too fast for two hours (cue Scooby Doo physics). The Kryptonite cell had no floor so why not toss off the cage? The Wonder Twins deactivated without touching. You mean, they could do this the whole time? That would have come in so handy all those times they got locked in cages or whatnot. Then again, maybe they touched when we weren't looking; their ropes were tied differently later in the episode!

15(A) Super Friends: Rest in Peace: Anything could have killed Batman since he's human with no superpowers. As for this Noxium, it must be really powerful stuff. Really, they have a museum right in their headquarters where they also keep sensitive equipment and information? No one's ever in the establishing outdoor shots of the Hall so the museum must be very unpopular. No one bothered checking their pulses to see if they were still alive. Look, Mommy, Superman's sleeping! Their backup heroes need a lot more training.

15(B) Journey Through Inner Space: An infrared outline of Aquaman when he had a completely different physical shape? If it were that easy, science would have detected auras ages ago. Why not inject the shrunken heroes closer to the brain so the journey wouldn't take so long? Unless they were really hoping that they might not have enough time to save him... Wonder Woman was safe in the ship but over the radio, she sounds strained. Pretending she was doing the hard stuff?

16(A) History Of Doom: Luthor's pretty dumb for a genius. Massive solar flares destroy pretty everything like the ecosystems that sustain all human life, which includes bad guys. Couldn't the Super Friends go back in time and fix it themselves? They had at least three ways to time travel in a previous episode.

16(B) The Rise and Fall of the Super Friends: The department store was going to be demolished anyway, why bother going in to save anything? Revenge of Robin? LOL! A place of lots of books, how'd they guess Gotham City library versus Metropolis City Library or countless others?

Vampires Love Jailbait

Pretty much everyone prefers beauty, and of course, beauty's in the eye of the beholder and all that. The younger you start out with someone, the longer you get to bask in their beauty. Just guessing why it is that vampires generally love jailbait (I'm looking at you Edward Cullen of the Twilight Saga to your emo Bella Swan).

To be fair, this also applies to other immortal or long-lived types and not to the ones who prefer more mature adults (see Detective Nick Knight and Dr. Natalie Lambert of Forever Knight or Dr. Henry Morgan and Detective Jo Martinez on Forever). Some, of course, prefer comely younger women who are at least still adults (Dracula to Mina Murray, Bill Compton and Eric Northman to Sookie Stackhouse in the novels and True Blood, or Klaus Michaelson to Camille O'Connell on The Originals).



Yes, some vampires/immortals look like teens or young men but they're really hundred(s) or thousand(s) of years old. And generally, they go after teenaged girls which technically makes them creepy/dirty extremely senior citizens (eh-hem, Damon and Stefan Salvatore to Elena Gilbert of The Vampire Diaries, or Kol Michaelson to Davina Claire on The Originals). Sure, teen boys are usually soooo immature and there's something to be said about experience, but 100's or 1000's of years is a LOT of experience. Let's not forget angels like Bishop to Samantha in Michelle Rowen’s Nightwatchers series. Occasionally, some old girls get in on the act (see vampire Victoria and Aden in Gena Showalter's Intertwined series where there's also werewolf Riley and Mary Ann).



Other possibilities: Maybe these vampires are eternal manchildren. Or it really takes these guys 100's or 1000's of years to mature to the level of teenage girls (which is either an individual thing or a commentary on guys in general).



At least a few vampires actually don't live long lives and age more or less like humans so this whole thing doesn't apply. See Richelle Mead's Vampire Academy and Bloodlines series. Melissa de la Cruz's Blue Bloods series.



There's probably a ton more stories I haven't read yet and shows/movies I haven't seen yet. Please feel free to send some my way if you like. You know, just to prove me wrong / get my commentary / share because you're so awesomely nice or for any other reason at all.