Super Friends: (The Legendary Super Powers Show/Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians)

Season 6: 1981-82

5(C) Colossus: Apache Chief grows to the size of Colossus to fight in space. His huge feet should have destroyed a good portion of the Earth before he managed to float in space.

Season 7 (the lost season): 1983

2(B) Two Gleeks are Deadlier Than One: Jayna and Zan put in charge of security during the night? That should have been a dead giveaway to villains that the Justice League wasn't serious about security because they weren't really meeting but android doubles instead.

3(B) Invasion of the Space Dolls: And I thought it was bad if my phone or computer ran out of juice.

Super Friends: The Legendary Super Powers Show Season 8: 1984-1985

1(A)&(B) The Bride of Darkseid: Man, Darkseid's got a serious hard-on for Wonder Woman.

2(A) The Wrath of Brainiac: So much so that he'd follow an android Wonder Woman right into Brainiac's star-ship.



2(B) Reflections in Crime: The 6th dimension: the dimension behind mirrors. Finally, a dimension nearly as bad the 5th dimension that spawned Mr. Mxyzptlk. Firestorm staring into mirror: Man, this workout is really starting to make a difference, I look just like Superman!

3(A) No Honor Among Thieves: A ticked-off Darkseid stealing your newly stolen powers and landing you in prison stripes... that's what Lex Luthor gets for disrupting Darkseid's quiet time on Apokolips. Maybe Darkseid was daydreaming about Wonder Woman?

5(A)&(B) Darkseid’s Golden Trap: Gold kryptonite can permanently strip away all of the powers that Superman enjoys on Earth? How would anyone know? There's only the one Superman to test it on and obviously, no one has.

8(A) The Village of Lost Souls: As an ice block, Zan traps Wonder Woman. A heck of a way to feel her up.

The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians Season 9: 1985-1986

3 The Darkseid Deception: Darkseid rearranged his molecular structure in order to impersonate Steve Trevor for Wonder Woman? Creepy obsessed.



8 The Death of Superman: If Superman is still alive, why has he allowed the other Team members to fall into Darkseid's clutches? Seriously, he's nearly dead and greener than Green Lantern's ring, the question is how could he stop it? Give him a minute, people. Or, you know, save yourselves.

Who Wants to be a Princess?

Sure, they're privileged, eat the finest foods, wear the chicest gowns, can order the best entertainments, and have servants attend to their every need. They get to marry princes, become queens and occupy prime real estate. Not bad, if you like that sort of thing.



Not me. Those gowns are usually huge, probably heavy, and can't be easy to move in. The dances are lame, and see above about dresses. The decorum and expectations are suffocating. They have servants and subjects and yes men, but likely no real friends.



The princes? Very limited dating pool. In real life, not particularly handsome overall. And some of the time, an arranged marriage. Most don't even get to become king -- that would be their, usually, oldest brother -- so no queenship for you. And don't get me started on the internarrying in such a small pool of acceptable royal matches. Even if you do get to be queen, you'll usually come second to the King. See Mary, queen of Scots to King Francis in Reign.



The castles? Drafty with all the open holes for windows. Dark and dank with secret passageways where assasins may hide. Servants lurking everywhere who will see and overhear everything.

You get to be the helpless target kidnapped for ransom. A pawn for political intrigue. The damsel in distress in a restrictive dress. Unless...



You're the exception. Elsa with magical powers in Frozen. Merida disobeying parents to teach herself useful skills in Brave. Belle of Beauty and the Beast didn't sit idle but filled herself with knowledge which is, after all, power. Fairy princesses with inherent magic. Amazon queens like Gabrielle of Xena: Warrior Princess where they have no men anyway.



Xena herself, a warrior princess. This woman has killed demons and monsters and gods. No one can tell her what to do, how to behave, who to marry. If anything, I'd prefer to be a warrior princess. But then there'd be plenty of people wanting to kill you... so maybe not.

(World's Greatest) Super Friends Seasons 4 & 5

The World's Greatest Super Friends Season 4: 1979-1980

1 Rub Three Times for Disaster: If that title weren't enough... Superman would save everyone a lot of trouble by superspeed snatching stuff away from bad guys first and confronting them later. The bad guy worked so hard to get the lamp, why leave it behind in the end?



2 Lex Luthor Strikes Back: How many times can Lex Luthor, SUPerGENius, do something dumb to screw up the world, requiring the Super Friends to once again save it? Why does it take an hour for the molten metal to pour over Wonder Woman and Aquaman? Why is Aquaman holding his tits? Sun creatures that can melt fireproof material should laugh at water.

5 Universe of Evil: Nitrogen + heat vision + water = Kryptonic acid. Well, geez, if that's all it takes... Duh, always bring Kryptonite to fight an evil Superman. Would a really powerful villian try to talk you into something when they can force you?

6 Terror at 20,000 Fathoms: Nimoy needed three missiles for his plan but used one just for a demonstration to the United Nations. Did he decide he didn't want Africa, South America, or Antarctica? What's the point of a museum for one? Ejecting Robin, LOL!

7 The Super Friends Meet Frankenstein: The monster had done nothing but stand when his creator called him more powerful than imagined. Maybe his previous creations were too weak to do anything but lie there? Needing Robin to save the most powerful Super Friends? They're doomed! Getting the lousy remnants of their power to fight the superpowered monster who has the majority of their power? Robin's doomed!

8 The Planet of Oz: Aquaman to jellyfish: "Coat me in goo!" Jellyfish to Aquaman: "I don't know what kind of kink you're into, but OK." Wonder Woman lost her powers. Superman said he lost his too but managed to use them three separate times. Sigh, even Oz and powers manage to be chauvinistic.

Super Friends Season 5: 1980-81

1(A) Bigfoot: Seriously, ask for help instead of terrorizing the locals!

3(B) Rock and Roll Space Bandits: Cheesy wannabe 80's rock, about as far from hypnotic music as I've ever heard.

3(C) Elevator to Nowhere: Wow, dude, seriously. Just ask them to test out the time machine instead of tricking them into it. They like to help advance science. And they tested that other guy's time ma-. Ohhh, is that why you didn't want to ask? Or you could just buy a working time machine off one of the countless others who built machines that work.

4(C) The Incredible Crude Oil Monster: Aquaman using a net to contain oil? No one ever called him a mental giant. It's just all about his vaunted aquatic telepathy.