I'm a writer. No, really!

I'm a writer a la Nick Miller of New Girl. Ok, so I don't knock my computer to the floor to avoid writing (the thing's expensive!) but I do manage to avoid the dread - did I say dread? I meant beloved - task using other methods. No, not by getting drunk at the zoo in lieu of life experience, there are plenty of other ways to gain "life experience". I'm a busy girl, you know. I had to shop all Black Friday. And Cyber Monday. And Cyber Week. And Cyber Month?

Being a writer is the best! In what other profession is it acceptable not to do the work? I have writer's block, damn it. It's an occupational hazard. I'll get the work done whenever. Really! In my spare time - not that I have any. You know, after the shopping. Or after I catch up on my shows, like New Girl.