Pigeons: Precision Poopers

Planning a precision strike on humans

Descending the stairs, my hand on the narrow metal railing, I feel something wet, icky... eww! Yep, pigeon poop. On that think railing less than an inch thick. Talk about precision swoop and poop.

How about the time I was staring at my feet in a schoolyard? So emo and loner, I know. Didn't even notice a thing until others started making a fuss. You know, backing away, pointing, laughing since I wasn't enough of a social misfit already. I can be oblivious but not THAT oblivious. That was a stealth precision strike right on the shoulder of my coat.

Isn't it bad enough that they love to roost on my house? One raised a family on my crumbling bedroom window sill. Hello? Crumbling: not a safe place to raise your kids. Plenty of other solid spots on all the other neighborhood houses. And their endless cooing is so darn loud...

Too bad I don't believe in hurting living creatures. I once tried to trap a cockroach but accidentally chopped it in half when it put on a sudden burst of speed. Hold still, you idiots. I dont want to kill you... yet. OK, maybe never, I'm squeamish that way.

Fleischer Superman Cartoons, part 1: Peepshow in the Supply Closet!

Max Fleischers Superman: Collector's Edition [Blu-ray]

• Lois leaps headfirst into trouble: She doesn't let anyone where she is and usually tries to hide her whereabouts. This version is more of a screamer than a fighter. How did she ever manage before Superman could find and save her pretty much anywhere? Even worse, when she finds out about imminent destruction that she can't stop herself, she doesn't call anyone for help. Thanks Lois, for being more concerned about getting the story than saving lives.

• What ridiculous names and devices: the electrothanasia ray, Bulleteers, Japoteurs

• Clark changing: Does anyone ever notice the silhouette in the window? Does anyone ever find Clark's clothes discarded inside? Once he changed right outside the Daily Planet building.

• Perry's intercom? system: It's one system in one episode and looks completely different in another. Why does he even need it? Why not just open the door and yell like J Jonah Jamerson would? Lois and Clark are usually in his office anyway.

• The Mechanical Monsters: Why does he need so many robots? Why won't Lois tell him where the jewels are when they all fell out anyway? How did the guy expect Lois to give him answers when he gagged her? How did Superman find the base when he lost the robot's trail?

• Billion Dollar Limited: Why wasn't Clark suspicious of a car nearly running him over and racing after the gold? How did the same guys manage to get ahead of Superman three times to set up bombs and things? Superman left Lois with the bad guys so he could deliver the gold instead. He should know by now that this Lois can't really fend for herself.

Why Coulson Should Have Met With Skye's Mom

Spoilers for Season 2 Episode 20 "Scars"

Who do you think was really more objective and wouldn't land us in a war? Phil "paternal instinct I just want to protect Skye" Coulson vs. Robert "these powered people don't really want live in peace, they're the biggest threat ever, what's our plan of attack?" Gonzales. My money's on Coulson. Gonzales saw threats everywhere, constantly tried to undermine everything, and thought he was more equal than everyone else. Why else would he have had that secret "insurance policy" when he was supposed to be big on transparency?

Coulson's smarter, craftier and more flexible (both mentally and physically). He might have avoided the attack or at least dodged it.

Coulson brings people together. Look at the Avengers. Gonzales was only good at tearing the remains of S.H.I.E.L.D. apart.

Hiding and Finding Super Dangerous Stuff

Finding Dangerous Stuff

If they don't know where it is and can't find out except through you, do not go and move it for safety. The bad guys will only follow you to it or take it from you.

Why do you think they let you know just how much they wanted to find it? "Thanks for saving us a ton of work! And giving us an excuse to laugh in your face and shoot you."

Instead, lead them on a long and dangerous journey into the heart of a secret prison with full surveillance and a dummy artifact. That way, when they try to take it and kill you, the whole thing's on camera and they're already in prison. Slam dunk case!

Buried in the deep.

(Re-)Hiding Dangerous Stuff

If it's really THAT dangerous and no one should ever use it, including you, then by all means, destroy it! The only excuses are if it's indestructible or if it's a living creature (that's not super creepy or a killing machine).

If you can't destroy it, put it someplace no living creature that you know of can survive. Try within a pool of magma or at the bottom of the deepest ocean trench you can reach. Eventually someone might invent the tech to get there but by then, you'll be too long dead to care.

This works too. Dangerous stuff mostly gone..

If you don't want anyone to find it, don't leave clues or maps. Otherwise it's guaranteed that people will try to find it, and after enough of them, someone will.

Image to the right from episode Day of the Samurai from Batman: The Complete Animated Series

Son of Coul vs the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D."

Spoiler Alert! Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episodes 2-14 Love in the Time of Hydra and 2-15 One Door Closes

• Transparent, my ass! The "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." is more secretive than Coulson's. If it's the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D.," why has no one heard of them? Why not tell people like Talbot not to work with Coulson and just hand everything over to them instead?

• Reporting to the World Security Council? No big thing, especially since it was compromised by HYDRA just as much as the original S.H.I.E.L.D. was.

• What has the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." even been doing all this time? They had an entire aircraft carrier and what looks like lots more people. All Fury left Coulson was a cube, an old secret base and some Koenigs with an inexplicable love of lanyards. Yet it looks like Coulson's team did all the work. All the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." seems to have done is spy on Coulson.

• Five people sat at the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." table yet they looked anything but equal. It was quite obvious that the other four deferred to Gonzales. I didn't even realize they were supposed to be equal until they tried to feed Coulson that garbage in the second episode since the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." reveal.

• Gonzales wanted to follow Fury's orders until the very end when HYDRA was blowing in the door right after Bobbie's democracy speech. The point when he pretty much had no choice but to help keep himself alive doing as the others by firing at the mass of enemies busting through the door. Fury gave the cube to Coulson, enough said.

Walgreens: Pissing Off Customers One at a Time

Now that's service!

I was shopping at walgreens.com using their Friends & Family code to buy three items costing over $60. Subtrct the discount and it's over $50. Subtract the 40,000 Balance Rewards points worth $50 and it should be just over $1, right?

Wrong! They charge the over $50! Since I'm trying to use up a debit card with a limit of $50, the charge failed. So I contact customer service.

The CS said they have to put a temporary charge on your credit card for the full amount. It's to keep you from spending points you don't have because in the days it takes for your order to ship, you might "reuse" the points.

I said, "Um, duh, how about putting a temporary hold on the points instead? That way you don't have to do it with people's credit cards?"

They kept repeating, "Your card won't be charged the total amount." [in the end.]

I said, "Just tell someone higher up my suggestion."

If anyone else could suggest this too, maybe we could get them to possibly consider changing it?

Probably not though. If there's one company that treats it's Friends & Family as thieves just because they didn't think of easy preventative measures. it's Walgreens.

A Tip For Idiotic Bigots

I'm guessing you pretend to be an upstanding citizen and a productive helpful member of society. You wouldn't kill someone on the off chance you might get arrested, right? But you would want them out of your neighborhood since it should a nice pure place for you and your kind to live.

If so, the last thing you want is to destroy your target's property or physically hurt them or their family. See, it takes money to move away. It takes more money for them not to go broke and have to live with government support which would be paid for with YOUR hard-earned tax dollars, gasp! You don't want them to have to continually shell out for hospital bills and fixing and replacing things.

Try asking; it doesn't even have to be too nicely. Or telling. Or anything else that doesn't involve physical assault or property destruction which are both still crimes that can be pinned on you. Also, lay off with trying to get them fined for stupid things because again, you don't want to them to run out of the money they'd need to move out of your precious neighborhood. 'Cause then might have no choice but to stay right there NEXTTOYOU which is the last thing either of you want.

The point is, home should be a sanctuary. Yes, I suppose even you have a right to that. As for your target, no place with a-holes like you around is much of a sanctuary. Give them the best chance possible of moving away already so you both can be happier. Emphasis on the YOU because of course you deserve everything good in the universe and they don't. *roll eyes*